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How Long Will I Love You

How Long Will I Love You
Song by Ellie Goulding

How long will I love you?
As long as stars are above you
And longer if I can

How long will I need you?
As long as the seasons need to
Follow their plan

How long will I be with you?
As long as the sea is bound to
Wash upon the sand

How long will I want you?
As long as you want me to
And longer by far

How long will I hold you?
As long as your father told you
As long as you can

How long will I give to you?
As long as I live through you
However long you say

How long will I love you?
As long as stars are above you
And longer if I may

How long will I love you?
As long as stars are above you

life begins at 40?

I started to ponder on this phrase the moment I realized I will hit this age soon.
Just trying to make sense of the ‘life’ I am about to begin, that it is saying.
I think, life begins when you start living the life you truly want – that is doing things that make you feel alive and fulfilled.
And maybe, turning 40, is a milestone when you know already who you are and what you want at this time in your life – the kind of person you have become, and still want to be.
Like you are standing at a mountain peak and beginning to see life from a good vantage point – your past and your vision for your future.
An opportunity to reassess yourself and take a detour.
Thinking about this, reminded me of my dreams as a young person.
But I am now at a point in my life where I no longer chase anything. I don’t know if that is good.
I am just deeply grateful because having a child is more than a dream come true for me.
The joy motherhood gives is incomparable.
Now, I just want to make the most of the next act of my life.
To love more, to be always healthy, to see beautiful places as much as I can, to always try to live in the moment ..
And just hope this life will treat me kind. 🙂

bittersweet

you raised your tiny arms out
an intent gaze I will never forget
‘carry me’
feeling it, gives me joy
of being needed by you
and sadness too
because mommy left you 😦

— update

that smile on your little face
when you saw me coming
took my worry & sadness away 🙂
i miss u every day

Something in the Rain

my favorite season is here .. 🙂

Something in the Rain
Rachael Yamagata

I feel you now from here
Our time is not done yet
You’ve given me my fullest heart
We’ll never be apart

I’m breathing through you now
The love we have so true
I never thought that
I could need someone the way I do

And we’re meant to be
This is one thing I know
I feel everything
Never been so exposed
Are there pieces still yet to be discovered with your love
I can see anything through wherever you are
I can feel you

And we’re meant to be
This is one thing I know
I feel everything
Never been so exposed
Are there pieces still yet to be discovered with your love
I can see anything through wherever you are
I can feel you

Your smile, your touch, your voice
Each detail in your face
I could study everything about you forever more

The way you look at me
Connecting with you now
You give me a strength I’ve never known
You’ve reached into my soul

a letter to my daughter

                                                                                                                     September 10, 2021
                                                                                                                     10:30 AM

My dear daughter,

As I write to you this letter, you are exactly 36 weeks and 3 days old inside Mama’s tummy. Have you been loving it in there? Just a little bit of growing left to do and I’ll get to meet you my little one – soon, by God’s grace.

That was Sunday, January 31 when I found out I am pregnant with you. For how many years, your Papa and I have been praying and waiting to have a child so you can imagine how happy we were that day. Each day goes by, I fear I might miscarry or lose you like your two angel brothers or sisters that we never got the chance to meet. But I do not want to let fear dominate my pregnancy and prayed earnestly for a peaceful heart. One night, the Lord gave me a promise, and said “Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay”. I’ve been holding on to His promise since then and I recite it on my mind every time your mama feels frightened or anxious.

I teared up a bit when I first heard your heartbeat. That was Saturday, February 27. It was a strong beat. With God’s grace, we both make it through each day, moving ahead slowly, one day at a time. At the end of each day, all I have is a grateful heart, thanking the Lord I still have you. I breathe a sigh of relief, every time I feel you move inside my tummy, because it’s a sign of your little life inside of me. All these discomforts I feel – nausea, fatigue etc., bring it on I do not mind, they are my good troubles to remind me that everything is going fine. I wonder if you love listening to our conversations and mama’s lullaby to you, Jesus Loves Me. You will not remember, but please keep our little moments close to your heart.

I want you to know also that everyone loves you even before you are born. Your Papa, your Lolos and Lolas, our whole family, who are doing everything they can to keep us both safe because of our high-risk pregnancy. Our church family who constantly pray for us on Sundays, and our friends who were so happy and supportive after hearing our pregnancy news. I have setup a simple gender reveal party for you on my birthday with our family and filmed it because I want to show it to you when you are older and you will see how happy and excited we are of you coming into our lives.

Now that we are on our last leg, I cannot wait to look into your little eyes and begin this brand new journey of motherhood with you. I may not become a perfect mom, but I promise to give my best and I will make you feel loved every single day. You were conceived and will be born in a not-so-normal time of this World – during a pandemic, in a time where everything is uncertain, but one thing I am sure about, you are our precious gift from God Above who has brought joy and hope in our lives during this trying time. Our ray of sunshine. Our rainbow baby. The World will not always be kind and fair to you, but please do not let love slip away from your heart, it’s the only thing that will it make it easy. Always remember that you are the best thing that we have ever prayed and waited for. With God’s grace, we will make it through, and we will finally hold you. I love you. We cannot wait to meet you, the little love of our life, Annifrid.

                                                                                                                            Love,
                                                                                                                            Mama

PS

Wondering what is in your name? Your name was derived from the names – Annie, from the Hebrew Anna meaning “grace” and Frida, a name of German origin meaning “peace”. 🥰

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:” – Ecclesiastes 3: 1

Battle Belongs

Battle Belongs
Phil Wickham

When all I see is the battle
You see my victory
When all I see is the mountain
You see a mountain moved
And as I walk through the shadow
Your love surrounds me
There’s nothing to fear now
For I am safe with You

So when I fight I’ll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I’ll sing through the night
Oh God the battle belongs to You

And if You are for me
Who can be against me (yeah)
For Jesus there’s nothing
Impossible for You
When all I see are the ashes
You see the beauty (thank You God)
When all I see is a cross
God You see the empty tomb

So when I fight I’ll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I’ll sing through the night
Oh God the battle belongs to You

Almighty Fortress You go before us
Nothing can stand against
The power of our God
You shine in the shadow
You win every battle
Nothing can stand against
The power of our God

Oh God the battle belongs to You

HNY

Great is Thy Faithfulness yesterday, today & forever 💙

A Happy & Blessed New Year 2021!