heartstrings

so small ..

el jei — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 08:04:30 +0000

Good things come in small packages. As cliche as it may sound, there is so much truth in it. A pat on the back, a listening ear, a word of encouragement, a helping hand, a smile – the simple things in life that usually go unnoticed, and we hardly give away. Life is so simple until we complicate it ourselves. We tend to over analyze everything as if life is a problem to be solved. We are chasing the wrong things and forgetting that life is temporary. We are too busy to notice that the love and joy we are searching for is just in front of us.

Don Moen once said; “There are three kinds of people in the world; people who are going through a storm right now; those that just coming out of one; and those getting ready to go into another one”. ‘Storms’ are a part of our lives. Our finite minds may not comprehend that all things work for our good but if we set our mind and heart to what is eternal, hold on to our faith and trust His ways, everything will seem so small.

Life is like a song .. sometimes it plays softly … other times it’s ear shattering .. there will be struggles, heartaches, pain .. but don’t let these feelings keep us from moving .. and take our chances away to see the best that life has to offer .. the journey is not easy ..but it’s the lessons you squeeze out of life that makes it rewarding … Remember that life will always be beautiful as long as you look at it in a beautiful way.

As the song says, “Sometimes that mountain you’ve been climbing is just a grain of sand. And what you’ve been out there searching for forever is in your hands. And when you figure out love is all that matters after all. It sure makes everything else seem so small” …

best things in life are free

el jei — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 08:52:00 +0000

… there’s nothing better than a quiet sail in a fizzy blue ocean, while poring over a good book, hearing the sound of lapping waves, lulling you to sleep

… a hot air balloon ride over a tulip filled garden, over snowy mountains

… the soft breath of a child leaning over your shoulder with his arms slipped around you, almost enough to make your life seem worthwhile

… a stroll along the seashore, watching the sun go down, enjoying the spectacular of view of the sunset.

… I love weddings .. it’s like the end of every fairy tale ..

… a drive along a beautiful cliff in a red convertible car ..while Vanessa Carlton’s A Thousand Miles is playing .. (he-he)

… and the sight of the rainbow in the sky …

… truly, the best things in life are free =)

“Just living is not enough… One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” ~ Hans Christian Andersen ~

dream …

el jei — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 10:05:36 +0000

I dreamt about my mom last night .. that she gave birth to a baby … ‘te Chi found the meaning of my dream somewhere and told me to post it here .. it says …

Baby

To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. A love affair may be blooming for you in your near future. You will also make new and fun friends. Babies may symbolize something in your own inner nature which is pure, vulnerable, and/or uncorrupted.

To dream of a crying baby, is indicative of a part of yourself that is deprived of attention and needs some nurturing.

If a woman dreams she is nursing a baby, she will be deceived by the one she trusts the most.

um, I kinda liked the blooming love affair part .. hahaha

Way Back To You

el jei — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 06:59:34 +0000

Way Back To You

Strayed away from the Father

Finding my way back now

Because life has been lonely

Without You

I am coming back to my Savior

In you, I find true joy

Take my hand, walk with me

Help me find my way back to you

Your Word spoken to me

That everything is about Thee

That this life you gave me

Should be used up for your glory

Lord, keep me close by your side

Make all my fears subside

I never want to be away from you again

I will live my life for you until the end

g-rev

el jei — Sun, 19 Nov 2006 05:59:48 +0000

The 2006 Gospel Revolution festival sponsored by the Philippine Children’s Fund of America was held last Saturday, November 11, 2006 at the Robinson’s Starmills Pampanga. G-Rev is a song writing competition (gospel music) among bands from different local churches in Luzon. After series of screenings, 14 bands made it to the finals including our local church’s band, Bringers of Faith. ‘Twas a memorable event for me. A week before, my brother asked me if I could play rhythm because they need to add musicality to the composition and with no second thoughts I said “yes”. We practiced at our church every night (after my work) and I really enjoyed every single moment of it. I loved it. Though my fingers ached and stiffen because it’s been a while since I played the guitar, it’s all worthwhile. Come Saturday, I needed to woke up early because I was going to be a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding, which began at 10 am. And in the middle of the wedding reception, I needed to rushed home to change before the G-Rev event (of course I won’t perform with my face in full make-up lol). When we arrived at the mall, I felt a bit of nervousness, especially when I saw the audience, waiting for the program to begin. My mom, sister, some of our relatives and friends were there to support us. When it’s about our turn to perform, the band said a little prayer, reminding each other that our performance is not about winning, it’s all about HIM, to worship HIM and share to others our God-given talent. When were already up on the stage, I said to myself, “this is for you Lord, this is for You”. For the first time in my life, I played on the stage and it was like a dream come true for me. It was an amazing feeling to play for the Lord and at the same do something I really enjoy. I wish I would have more meaningful days like this.

me = meaningless

el jei — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 05:21:56 +0000

this morning, a medical mission for street children is being shown in the telly .. and while I’m sipping my hot coffee .. a lot of questions pops on my mind .. what ’bout me? what am I doing with my life? am I doing something worthwhile for people in need ? would the World weep when I die? do I make Him happy? .. honestly, I don’t think so .. and that scares me a lot .. thinking I am wasting my life … living selfishly … storing my riches here and not in Heaven .. I know, I haven’t been good lately .. before .. I sing in the church .. I teach in Sunday school .. I mean, I have time for HIM .. but now .. I work .. worry .. and work again .. no more good girl .. for the past three years, am just sited here everyday, in front of this computer.. doing nothing much … I wanted to help .. I wanted to be an inspiration .. but I feel inadequate .. incapable .. I wanted to do something meaningful with my life ..

So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

- Morrie Schwartz, in “Tuesdays with Morrie”

Now Playing: Place In This World

el jei — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 07:19:14 +0000

mood: lonely
time of the day: late in the afternoon

I caught myself singing this song while taking bath this morning .. i think, this is my life’s song at the moment ..

Place In This World
Michael W. Smith

The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled
A heart that’s hopeful
A head that’s full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems

Feels like I’m
Looking for a reason
Roamin’ through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can you still hear me

Hear me asking
Where do I belong?
Is there a vision
That I can call my own?

Show me, I’m
Looking for a reason
Roamin’ through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

first cut is the deepest …

el jei — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 08:23:18 +0000

the first cut is the deepest
baby I know
the first cut is the deepest
I’ll try to love again…

yeah, a song by Sheryl Crow .. and it’s a personal favorite … it reminds my team mates of me too .. I was immortalized in this song .. lol .. it is about a girl who is afraid of falling in love and getting hurt again .. and I cannot blame her ..

March 05, 2004. I allowed my heart to surrender the fear and walked into somebody’s life. Even though, I’m a bit scared about my decision since I cannot say I have the readiness for a relationship or if I am capable of handling the challenges that a successful relationship requires, that day would be remembered as one of the most special times I had ever had. I finally said yes to him after 7 months of courtship. I give in to love.

“But love is much like a dam: if you allow a tiny crack to form through which only a trickle of water can pass, that trickle will quickly bring down the whole structure, and soon no one will be able to control the force of the current. For when those walls come down, then love takes over, and it no longer matters what is possible or impossible; it doesn’t even matter whether we can keep the loved one at our side. To love is to lose control.” – By The River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho.

Saying “I Love You” for the first time is a beautiful experience especially if you truly do love the person you are saying it to. A fleeting moment yet meaningful. He is the kind of man who will do everything he can to protect his loved ones. He’d captured my heart by the sweet little things he do. Not too long ago, I remember we were munching on some butong pakwan and it was so sweet of him to open them for me (he-he), sweet nothings .. thoughtful messages … songs we share together … these made me want to be with him always ..

“Can I just see you every morning when I open my eyes. Can I just feel your heart beating beside me every night. Can we just feel this way together ’till the end of all time. Can I just spend my life with you … ” – Spend My Life With You by Eric Benet and Tamia

But as they say, some good things are not meant to last forever. We parted ways. It saddened me to think that baseless jealousy ruined our relationship, at least, that’s how it all started. I was left with a heart so badly broken and with unending questions whirling in my head. I didn’t know what really went wrong. I wanted closure. But we never had a chance to talking things out, or should I say, we did not give it a chance.

No matter how difficult and painful it may be, nothing sounds as good to the soul as the truth. – Martha Beck

A month after, he’d found somebody new. It made me feel weak. It made me wonder if maybe our relationship meant more to me than it had meant to him .. I started to question if he loved me … nothing seemed to ease the pain I have felt inside .. and he was what I needed most in the world .. I stopped hoping .. but I never stopped loving him … until .. I don’t know .. I just learned to live with it (si Felicity! he-he) ..

Maybe getting over someone you’re in love with isn’t impossible. Unless, maybe you don’t actually get over it. Maybe you just learn to live with it. – Felicity

So … I had my heart broken for the first time. There is nothing more painful than to be hurt by someone you care about. I’ve been nursing a broken heart for more than a year … and it was not easy to deal with … seeing him talking with someone make me wish I am the person he’s talking to .. hearing songs we used to share will always bring tears to my eyes … memories come rushing every time I passed by to places where we once used to hang out .. in a word, it hurts … all that is left of me is my pillow to catch my tears at night .. I still wince every time I look back to these days … but in spite of all the pain, I know, there will always be a part of me that will always love him … at least, as a friend …. but I am over him .. and I am better off without him .. and most importantly, there are lessons learned ..

The success of love is in the loving – it is not in the result of loving. – Mother Theresa

I do not know why I am writing these things .. this sad chapter in my life .. sad yet special to me .. special because I loved, learned and became a better person … we never lose by loving .. .. yes, love hurts sometimes .. but it also heals when pain is too much to bear … that no matter how difficult my life’s journey can be .. how painful things can be .. I know I can surpass anything because I am loved .. I am loved by my family .. and friends .. and of course I have my God .. who would never ever leave me …

I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

- Alfred Tennyson

i snatched dis from friendster … :)

el jei — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 08:31:12 +0000

100 Things About Me..

1. Name: eLJei
2. Middle Name: Munoz
3. Location: Angeles City
4. Place of Birth: Angeles City
5. is missing .. so 99 things about me na lang ito he-he
6. Male or Female: straight female
7. Bus: jeep lang
9. Occupation: nasaan si #8?
10. Initials: L.J.M.B.
11. Screen Name: :sikwet .. lol

Your Appearance :

12. Hair Color : black
13. Hair Length: shoulder length
14. is missing too ..
15. Best Feature: ummm … wala eh he-he
16. Height: 5’2″
17. dami naman kulang ..
18. Glasses: i do wear eye glasses ..
19. Shoe Size: 6
20. Weight: 105 lbs?

Your First :

21. ?
22. First Best Friend: my only Best Friend is HIM
23. First Award: Best in Writing (prep)
24. First Sport You Joined: I’m not into sports .. but I’m a sports fan ..
25. First thing you did today: turned off alarm ng celfone
26: First thing you ate today: pandesal
27. First thing you said today: “ot teterak ka ma?” lol
28. First Love: God and parents hahaha .. parang slumnote

Favorites

29. Movie: The Notebook, A Walk To Remember
30. TV Show: music channels, gag shows
31. Color: shades of blue
32. Rock Band: RHCP (funk rock)
33. Place to get groceries: jenra mall
34. Food: any except ampalaya
35. Season: Winter sana … I want to experience snow
36. Candy: chocolates na lang …
37. Sport: none
38. Restaurant: o nasaan na si 39, 40, 41??? yeeeee
42. Animal: Dog
43. Book: Nicholas Sparks novels / chic lits
44. Magazine: Candy mag he-he … just 4 kikay
45. Doing before you started this survey: IM-ing kath
46. Thinking About: You
47. Wearing: white tops, khaki capri pants and a jacket .. lamig dito sa work eh
48. Crying About: nothing
49. Eating: nothing
50. Drinking: nothing
51. Typing: this <————-
53. Listening To: ryt now? Some Hearts by Carrie Underwood
54. Thinking About: You again
55. Wanting: to read “The Wedding” (sequel of The Notebook)
56. Watching: nothing

Future

57. Where do you see yourself in 5 years: working in an office .. with my laptop he-he
58. Kids: I want to have 3 or more lol .. the more the merrier hehehe
59. Want to be Married: yes, to someone God wants me to marry ..
60. Career in Mind: a social work profession .. or maybe a nurse

Which is Better with the Opposite Sex

61-62 where are you??? waaaa
63. Hair color: black
64. Hair length: yoko ng long hair
65. Eye color: brown
66. Measurements: hahaha iba naiisip ko .. :-X
67. Cute or Sexy: both
68. Lips or Eyes: teeth hehe
69. Hugs or Kisses: hugs and kisses
70. Short or Tall: tall .. shorty na ‘ko eh .. bsta ‘wag lang maliit sa akin hehehe
71. Easygoing or Serious: neither .. good sense of humor he-he
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: romantic
73. Good or Bad: maginoo pero medyo bastos nalang he-he
74. Sensitive or Spontaneous: basta mabait
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: basta ..

Have You Ever

78. Kissed a Stranger: No
79. Had Surgery: No
80. Gone Commando: No
81. Ran Away From Home: No .. good girl ‘to
82. Broken a Bone: No
83. Got an X-ray: Yes
84. Been on a Cruise: Yes
85. ?
86. Dumped Someone: No
87. Cried When Someone Died: Yes
88. Cried At School: Yes

Do You Believe In

89. God: yes, of course ..
90. Miracles: yes, ‘Science goes only so far and then comes God’…
91. Love at First Sight: No, love is something that is built on far more … it requires time
92. Ghosts: Yes
93: Aliens: No
94. Soul Mates: my parents once said that they’re soul mates ..
95. Heaven: Yes
96. Hell: Yes
97. Answered Prayers: Yes
98. Kissing on the First Date: I won’t do it ..
99. Horoscopes: No

Answer Truthfully

100. Is there someone you wish you had? Yes

P.S.

it is not 100 Things About Me at all ..

sad news …

el jei — Sun, 16 Jul 2006 07:37:45 +0000

I just learned awhile ago that three of my friends were in a car accident this morning … the one driving is still in ICU… I hope their condition is not that bad .. I am praying for their safety … we are going to visit them at the hospital after work … accidents do happen .. it can happen to anyone at anytime .. so be safe ..